As parents, there are times you may feel intense pride in your children’s accomplishments. There are other days that you will face a parenting challenge and wonder if other families have experienced the same thing. Sometimes these highs and lows (and even everyday activities like going for ice cream) end up on social media. This is known as “sharenting.” What if the relentless sharing of our kids’ triumphs and pitfalls was actually hurting them?
What is Sharenting?
According to Cleveland Clinic, “sharenting” is defined as “the act of digital oversharing, of excessively posting information, pictures, stories or updates about your child’s life.” Oftentimes, this is done as a benign way of sharing what’s going on in your life with friends and family. However, experts warn that there could be unintended negative consequences.
Your Child’s Mental Health and Your Relationship with Them
Sharenting expert Stacey Steinberg points out that children as well as adults like their autonomy. They like to have control over their image, whether that be what they’re doing, what they’re wearing or the funny face they’re making. “When we share things about our children online without involving them in that decision making process, we’re missing out on a valuable opportunity to teach our children and model for our children the idea of consent,” Steinberg said.
Sometimes children feel pressured to live up to the perceived standard set via their parents’ social media. This can be stressful for children. Psychologist Susan Albers, PsyD also states that, “Sometimes, parents unknowingly create pressure on their kids by crafting an idealized image online of who their child is. That can lead to dips in self-esteem and self-worth.”
What about when the parent posts embarrassing stories or photos? Or for the teenager who doesn’t want to be seen doing something “uncool”? This can cause undue stress on children and may have negative consequences for the parent-child relationship as they feel they can’t trust you.
Safety Concerns
Another thing to consider is what type of personal information you put out there and who has access to it. If you are posting on public accounts, pages or chat rooms, anyone could be watching. Giving away the location of your child, their name, age, birthday, what school they go to or what teams they play on could give would-be perpetrators enough information to know where to find your child and when.
This information also creates an opportunity for others to perform identity theft, opening up your child to a vulnerable position. Mind Family, a resource for parents and families, also warns of another potential danger: photos you post of your children can be manipulated and used for sexual exploitation. The rise of artificial intelligence (AI) has made this photo manipulation even easier. This type of victimization could be terribly traumatic for the entire family.
Before you panic and rush off to delete every kid pic you’ve ever posted, take a deep breath. Consider the reasons behind the posts and use this as your guidepost. Consider where you’re posting – is it only on a private account that is followed by friends and family? Or is it on open forums that anyone could stumble upon? While you’ve likely posted content with the best intentions, consider going forward how you want to approach this topic. Consider asking permission from your children before posting information about them. Consider the audience and the information being shared. Maybe you post a verbal description of their accolades and stop using photos to connect the face with the name. Whatever you decide to do, go forth with knowledge and understanding about the risks and benefits of sharing your child’s life online.
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